As I was thinking about motivating and inspirational topics for this Motivational Monday, One thing kept popping into my head was: ask for what you need. About a year ago, I wrote a post similar to this when I desperately needed some time to myself (read it here). I asked my mom to provide the much-needed break for me and she was more than willing. I got an hour of alone time and afterward felt refreshed and ready to crush mom-life.
So many times as moms, we find it hard to ask for what we need or admit we need help. Everyone else’s news feed looks perfect and pretty and it’s hard to be authentic and vulnerable. Sometimes it seems like everyone else has it all under control. Like they can throw the perfect birthday party, make a homemade cake, manage to shower everyday (and do their hair and make up), take their kids on amazing vacations and cook organic meals seemingly perfect.
Then i compare myself… I am in the same outfit for the second day in a row. I’m not sure what the last time I showered was, the kids are eating PB&J for the fifth time this week and instead of crafting (or cleaning my house) I try to take a nap. The days aren’t always like this. There are amazingly great days, but most days aren’t perfect.
In fear of looking like we are weak or less than, we don’t reach out for help when we need it. Over the past few years, I’ve tired to ask for help. I’ve learned to ask for help in a way that helps me get what I actually need. Most of the time this comes into play with my husband. There are times where I am irritable or short tempered with my kids because of a deeper problem. The majority of the time when I ask for what I need, I get what I want! I always think it will be a bigger deal than what it actually ends up being. This helps us avoid a major explosion of emotions.
The issues (like resentment) come when I ask in an indirect way or expect my husband to read my mind. Although it would be nice if life were like the movies: flowers sent to me weekly, bachelorette type date nights, Kardashian style vacations; it’s not. Sometimes all you need is a fun night out! It’s okay to ask for help for that too!
The cool thing about living in the real world is that even though life isn’t extravagantly amazing, it is still amazing in many ways! There are so many things to be grateful for. There are so many small and great moments that can still take our breath away. If you need a break, ask for it. If you need to roam around target by yourself, ask for it. Need a nap? Ask for it! Be specific and honest in your communication with your loved ones. There is no need to hold grudges for unmet expectations that were never said in the first place. You are great and you deserve greatness!