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Mommy Convos

A Book That May Have You Wondering if You’re Racist

in Conversations, Friday Favorites, Our Favorites on 16/03/17

There’s no way I can be racist, I’m an African American Woman! This is what I thought as I started reading my new favorite book. I imagine some think: I’m not racist because… I have a black friend, my cousin is hispanic, my coworker is an immigrant... Well, I hate to break it to you, but in one way or another you are racist. I believed this book would explain to others some hardships minorities go through on a daily basis. While I read, I thought I would be thinking a bunch of “uh huh’s” and “yep…everyday’s”.  After I read this book I knew I was nowhere near immune to being biased or feeling privileged. This book had me wondering, am I racist?

I recently finished reading (listening to-thank you audible!) a book that had me riding a roller coaster of every emotion. The book, Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult is explicitly about race and the discomfort that can go hand in hand with racial taboos. Personally, I kept trying to decide if I should write a book review because I know the topic of Small Great Things can be uncomfortable or offensive to some. However, isn’t the race taboo the reason we have issues about race? We don’t talk about what comes along with race and privilege because we may be scared of the consequences. If there is one very important lesson I learned from this book, it is that uncomfortable topics needs to be talked about.

small great things, jodi picoult

First, below is the back of the book synopsis of Small Great Things:

“Ruth Jefferson is a labor and delivery nurse at a Connecticut hospital with more than twenty years experience. During her usual shift, Ruth begins a routine checkup on a newborn only to be told a few minutes later she’s reassigned to another patient. The parents are white supremacists and don’t want Ruth, who is African American, to touch their child. The hospital complies with their request, but the next day, the baby goes into cardiac distress while Ruth is alone in the nursery. Does she obey orders or does she intervene?

Ruth hesitates before performing CPR and as a result, is charged with a serious crime. Kennedy McQuarrie, a white public defender, takes her case but gives unexpected advice: Kennedy insists that mentioning race in the courtroom is not a winning strategy. Conflicted by Kennedy’s counsel, Ruth tries to keep life as normal as possible for her family—especially her teenage son—as the case becomes a media sensation. As the trial moves forward, Ruth and Kennedy must gain each other’s trust, and come to see that what they’ve been taught their whole lives about others—and themselves—might be wrong.”

When I first read the synopsis of this book I was in shock… it’s crazy right? As an African American woman I have been confronted with race issues my whole life. From elementary school when a little boy called me burnt in the oven to now as a mother when random strangers touch my kid’s hair and say they, love brown babies. My stories could go on and on.  Most of the time I reason with myself that most people have good intentions, they just don’t know how to express them properly. Although I try to be understanding it is beyond difficult not letting all these negative encounters build up, and in some instances they have.

In the book, it is revealed that Ruth, lost her husband. He was killed in the line of duty as he was serving in the military. When it happened, her son was very young. Because of this tragedy, Ruth was forced to be a single mother to her son Edison. She worked long shifts to make sure she could afford to live in a nice neighborhood and to save for Edison’s future college endeavors.

small great things, jodi picoult

I relate to Ruth’s tragedy because my father was killed in a car accident when my mom was pregnant with me. Sadly, I never meet my father. I was raised by an amazing single mother and her family, all who are white. We live in community that is about 98% white, okay, it’s more like 60% white, but it feels like 98%. I  was pretty much raised white, but look black so it was always hard to fit in. Most people didn’t usually treat me different, especially my family, but I always felt different.

Ruth struggles feeling different every day.  She lives in a mostly white neighborhood and is the only black labor and delivery nurse in that hospital area.  Ruth is an amazing person who contributes to her community tremendously, yet she is still treated like an outsider. Ruth is faced with microaggressions everyday and left to fend for herself by her own “peers”.

In Small Great Things, Ruth’s Lawyer, Kennady McQarrie argues over and over that race is the big issue in her case, they could not discuss it. Ruth pushes and pushes for the lawyers to bring up race, but she gets denied repeatedly. Just like the book, as a society, we tend to avoid talking about race and privilege because it is a hard topic.  Picoult states, “When I was researching this book, I asked white mothers how often they talked about racism with their children. Some said occasionally; some admitted they never discussed it. When asked the same question of black mothers, they all said, every day.”

As a person of color, race is something I HAVE to talk about every single day. I was not prepared for the day my three year old little girl asked if her skin was brown.  I thought I had a few more years and yet I was faced with a race question now. What do I say to my sweet little girl? How do I teach her that her skin is beautiful? That my daughter is amazing just the way she is even when many people surrounding us look different?

All mothers are faced with millions of questions every day from their children. Children are naturally inquisitive. Most mother’s answer questions about where their eye or hair color came from. My kids, however ask why one grandma has brown skin while the other has white skin. Trying to explain racial differences to my children in ways that they will understand can be challenging. It is a privilege if you do not HAVE to talk about race daily, but in my house we do.

small great things, jodi picoult

Small Great Things was written by a white author mainly for a white audience. I am not (fully) white, but I still walked away from this book in deep thought. There is no need to be afraid to talk about race! I should not be afraid to express my feelings if something someone says rubs me wrong. I face microaggressions every single day, most of the time they are “harmless,” but sometimes they are not. Helping people understand what is and is not appropriate to ask or tell me and my family is super important. I also think it is important to be open and to answer appropriate questions honestly. People asking genuine, kind questions when they don’t know the answer is key. When people know better, they do better.

This book has definitely helped me realize some of my privilege so now I can do better.  I have privilege by growing up half-white and being able bodied. I am privilege to be a black, yet light skinned woman. My kids are able to live in an area where they are safe. I am blessed with lots of privilege many don’t, but I also lack some privileges others enjoy.

Jodi Picoult’s novel Small Great Things is incredible! I love Picoult for taking the time to do extensive research on the racial topics for her novel.  She interviewed people from different situations and studied to give the most accurate information.

This book really opened my eyes to other perspectives, I hope it can do the same for you! Picoult eloquently states at the end of the book: “There is a fire raging and we have two choices: we can turn our backs, or we can try to fight it. Yes, talking about racism is hard to do and yes, we stumble over the words-but we who are white need to talk about race. Because, even more of us will overhear and-I hope-the conversation will spread.”

Let’s spread educated and real conversations about race so mentalities and our society can change for the better.

What are some privileges you enjoy that you may have been unaware of?

Xoxo,

Jordyn

 

*This post contains affiliate links.*

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About Jordyn Ross

Jordyn is a mother of three and is married to her College sweetheart. She has a Master's Degree in Educational Psychology (School Counseling) and a Bachelor's in Biology and Communications. She is a School Counselor and an Adjunct Communications instructor. She is a self-proclaimed shopaholic, loves trying new products, and loves writing about the funny and true-life conversations that come along with motherhood.

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Comments

  1. AvatarUnique Figueroa says

    March 17, 2017 at 10:17 pm

    Wow, I’m defiantly going to put this book on my list to read in the near future! I’m anticipating to see what the outcome is.

    • AvatarTiffaynee says

      March 20, 2017 at 10:15 pm

      We hope you like it! You’ll have to let us know what you think about it. 🙂

So glad you found us!

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Christmas is less than a week away. And if you hav Christmas is less than a week away. And if you haven’t read any of these adorable books – I highly suggest all of them. “But it’s too late!” You might be thinking and slightly panicking.... nonsense! ⠀
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In fact, this post is perfectly timed to prepare you for your final purchases this weekend or even, Christmas book clearance time. 🥳 When Christmas is over I’m certain many of these books will go on sale. (Insert happy deal shoppers dance here! 💃🏼 🛍) •⠀
•⠀
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Morgan here- I’m all about planning ahead, espec Morgan here- I’m all about planning ahead, especially for the biggest holiday of the year, but I forget one small detail... the stockings. 🙈😑 Please tell me i’m not the only one? 
•
•
Last night the hubby and I finished our Christmas shopping and I can finally put the wallet away. I’m certain we’re done- I hope. I should probably check my stash to be sure! 🙈
•
•
Sharing today our list of fun non-toy stocking stuffers you can snag before it’s too late! Head to our @mommyconvos bio for the details! 
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•
So, here’s the next question: do you Christmas shop for the family by yourself? (❤️) Or do you team up with your spouse? (❤️💚) Leave the colored heart that best describes you- below!
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⁣
LET ME GIVE YOU THIS REASSURANCE, MOMMAS- it is NOT necessary to buy more during the holidays in order to compensate for whatever you feel your children lacked this year. ❤ ⁣
⁣
Instead, we highly suggest minimizing your Christmas stress by implementing a minimalistic mindset each year, but this year in particular. This year has blessed us with the specific opportunity to tune in and be more mindful of those you love, just like our Savior does for us. So take this time to BE more present instead of spending extra cash on gifts. We promise it will be absolutely worth it. ⁣
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If you are looking at enjoying a more minimalistic holiday, be sure to check out the latest from the blog for some great tips and tricks for finding balance and peace this year. Just click the link in our bio @mommyconvos ⁣
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•
•
“Thanksgiving is here”- playfully illustrates the joys and chaos of large families gathering for Thanksgiving dinner. And when company leaves- how exhausted the hosts feel. Something as a mom I totally sympathize with. 😂
•
•
Another delight Thanksgiving book addition to our library this year is, “T-is for Thankful”. @babylit has done it again! Creating the cutest illustrated book centered around all the alphabetical great and small things to be thankful for this year.
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•
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Today I’ve felt anxious. I know i’m not the on Today I’ve felt anxious. I know i’m not the only one feeling this way with the impending presidential announcement... so how do we handle feeling off, anxious or depressed? One of the best things you can do -right this moment- give a hug. Cuddle close to a loved one and hold one another. Breathe deep. And hug for another breath. And hopefully you’ll slowly feel that anxiety release. And feel free to cuddle longer. 😘
•
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Sending a warm hug your way friend. 
❤️Tiff.
“When my daughter passed away unexpectedly at 10 “When my daughter passed away unexpectedly at 10 months old, my heart shattered. I was beyond broken… I was shattered beyond repair.⁣
⁣
They say it takes a “village” to raise a child…⁣
⁣
At that moment my “village” is what kept me alive…”⁣
•⁣
•⁣
@momma.hutch is 1 of every 4 women in the United States alone, who are affected by infertility or infant loss, or both. Mallory shares her brave story of dear Mackenzie’s passing and the journey she and her family are still going through. In this article Mallory  offers 10 invaluable and thoughtful ways to help a grief-stricken friend and we couldn’t agree more with her list. ⁣
•⁣
•⁣
To read her article- click @mommyconvos link in our bio. If you are a mother currently going through the grieving process- our deepest condolences and a virtual hug sent your way. We encourage you to check out Mallory‘s amazing supportive Instagram group: ... ⁣
•⁣
•⁣
When you are sad what is the one thing that cheers you up? I’ll give you a hint what mine is in the comments. 😍
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