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Mommy Convos

Mom Guilt is a Waste of Time

in Our Favorites, What's Working Wednesday on 07/03/17

If comparison is the thief of joy, then mom-guilt is the thief of joyful moments.

If you do not know what mom guilt is- consider yourself one of the lucky ones not plagued by this parenting epidemic. Mom guilt is that nagging voice in the back of your head saying:

You’re not good enough.

You didn’t feed your kids enough vegetables today.

Their hair/outfit is atrocious.

Someone needs to set the house on fire cuz there’s no cleaning this dump!

You don’t play with your kids enough….

Mom guilt criticizes everything about your parenting or lack thereof- skills and you know what? I’ve had enough of that voice! Listening to that mom guilting voice is a waste of time! But how do stop the vicious listening cycle? How do you stop that inner voice constantly criticizing life? You learn to silence that mom guilt by finding a happy balance, using perspective and a little justification.

Plagued by mom guilt for–years– I find myself downright depressed when this cynically voice grows loud. Why didn’t I make breakfast today instead of cold cereal again? How many movies did the kids watch this morning?  The truth? We got Trolls on DVD on Valentine’s Day and they have watched that movie at least once a day…they love it that much. However, the kids are mesmerized by the fun characters, the message of Trolls finding happiness, the music is great and the kids dance most of the show. They are getting exercise without even knowing it. It’s a win!

Is my house a disaster? No, not all the time. Okay, my little man has a thousand little plastic balls that belong in a ball pit… I never see them in the ball pit when he’s awake because they litter the floor all- day- long. But he’s happy throwing these balls then chasing after them. He is self-entertaining and that is a fantastic trait for a toddler.  Oh but the mess! I hear that mom guilt creep inside and criticize me for the lack of clean home: What if a neighbor dropped by?

I wish I was Mary Poppins. Wouldn’t it be glorious to carry around this magical weightless bag that holds anything and everything my children could ever need in it? Wouldn’t it be nice to snap my fingers and have the play room immediately cleaned up without lifting a finger of my own? Imagine the time saved!

Sigh… one day I’ll miss the messy house with kid toys, balls, backpacks and coats everywhere right? At least that’s what I keep telling myself.  Tell me I’m not the only one that finds cleaning up after a family of slobs annoying- please? And then that mom guilt voice comes creeping in again: Annoyed by the little people that will one day grow up and move out of your house– forever? How dare you not enjoy these moments?!

Good gravy! I cannot win! Until the toys make it to the toy chest on their own accord, I choose to have perspective. I’ll leave the house a (manageable) mess during the day while the children actually live and play in it. Before bed, the kids will collect everything that belongs to them and put it away.  Then I can put the house back in order to wake up the next morning and start this groundhogs festivities all over again…goodie.

mom guilt

 

Mom guilt needs to be kept in check by constantly finding a balance, searching for perspective and adding a side of justification. That cynical mom guilt creeping inside the head isn’t necessarily a bad voice. Mom guilt can remind or direct us on an area that needs improvement in our life which can be good.  Becoming aware that the furry hair behind the toilet bowl is not a jeweled troll’s hair is a good criticism.

Allowing mom guilt to send us down a path of self-doubt and misery to do laundry instead of playing with our child is stealing away a joyful moment. Mom guilt is a waste of time.  Letting mom guilt win over spending quality time with a loved one– is not going to happen anymore. I want to say yes to my children’s silly requests more than saying no. When my children ask if I will play with them I want my initial reaction to be- “yes, the laundry can wait.”

I say this over and over again, but raising little ones is a fleeting time. Childhood is over incredibly quick.  Babyhood is eight to nine months depending on when your baby starts walking. Toddlerhood- two to three years. At four- those little people go off to half day school. Eventually these little people are burdened with loads of homework, extracurricular activities and then…it’s bedtime. And the days keep turning to week and then years. Where has the time gone? Just typing this makes me want pull my sleeping one-year-old out of his crib to snuggle and smell his sweet skin.

legos

As parents, are we seizing the daily moments by playing with our kids? Or are we letting that time pass us by?

To clarify- this post is in no way trying to mom guilt others into doing more for their children. As mothers we guilt ourselves enough without needing to read a long post about it too. This post is helping me digest my most recent mom guilt ride that took me over the edge of sanity… choosing to send my child to school.

I promised with my first, that I would never send any of my kids to preschool. If you love someone, how could you send them away? With my daughter I home schooled her for preschool and eventually sent her to kindergarten. Oh Betty did I bawl hysterically when she left that first day.  After a week of kindergarten agony, I called a friend who reminded me not to feel guilty. My daughter got to socialize at school (because a social butterfly needs more social interactions- right?) and now my second child got one-on-one attention with me. Now, I could get “Morgan time” before child #3 showed up while child #1 was away and child #2 napped.

Balance, perspective and a little justification is how you handle mom guilt.

Seize the daily moments with your children, but take care of mama too. Put down the phone when the kids are awake.  Put the to do list back on the fridge and wait until naptime or bedtime to deep clean. Let your children be little, make memories by playing with them today. Put your agenda to the side, do the minim to survive for the day and build Lego towers or have tea parties on the floor more. I know it’s hard to stop the busyness of life, but slow down and absorb today.  Express your love to your little ones and smell their sweet and sometimes stinky kiddie smells a little more.

Seize these precious and fleeting moments and most importantly– tell that cynical mom guilting voice to take a hike!

Hoping to seize today and play,

Morgan

Morgan

About Morgan

Morgan is a domestic goddess in the Dewey household. Wife to her fourteen year college sweetheart and mother to four: a performer, soccer player, Mario obsessed and baby designated daredevil. Morgan keeps busy on her toes with musical theater performances, soccer games and secretly snarfing chocolate down in her closet. Morgan's passion in life is family and faith, belting Broadway songs while cooking, closet quilter, reading fantastic books and writing her own. She loves her four pumpkin heads and most days truly loves being a mother.

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Christmas is less than a week away. And if you hav Christmas is less than a week away. And if you haven’t read any of these adorable books – I highly suggest all of them. “But it’s too late!” You might be thinking and slightly panicking.... nonsense! ⠀
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In fact, this post is perfectly timed to prepare you for your final purchases this weekend or even, Christmas book clearance time. 🥳 When Christmas is over I’m certain many of these books will go on sale. (Insert happy deal shoppers dance here! 💃🏼 🛍) •⠀
•⠀
So, I suggest you look for these books today to add to your library for the next holiday season. 🎁🎅🏻 ⠀
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Head to our stories to see Morgan talk about some of her favorites, click the link in our bio for the Christmas book article or to shop all of our fav books- click on the Amazon link. ⠀
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• What holiday book is your favorite to read with your kids?
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Last night the hubby and I finished our Christmas shopping and I can finally put the wallet away. I’m certain we’re done- I hope. I should probably check my stash to be sure! 🙈
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Sharing today our list of fun non-toy stocking stuffers you can snag before it’s too late! Head to our @mommyconvos bio for the details! 
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So, here’s the next question: do you Christmas shop for the family by yourself? (❤️) Or do you team up with your spouse? (❤️💚) Leave the colored heart that best describes you- below!
Hi friends! We hope that you are having an amazing Hi friends! We hope that you are having an amazing week and are having a blast gearing up for the holidays ahead. With 2020 coming to an end, we can all relate to how tough this year has been. However, the initial tendency as a parent might be to overspend in an effort to compensate for whatever did or didn't happen in 2020. ⁣
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LET ME GIVE YOU THIS REASSURANCE, MOMMAS- it is NOT necessary to buy more during the holidays in order to compensate for whatever you feel your children lacked this year. ❤ ⁣
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Instead, we highly suggest minimizing your Christmas stress by implementing a minimalistic mindset each year, but this year in particular. This year has blessed us with the specific opportunity to tune in and be more mindful of those you love, just like our Savior does for us. So take this time to BE more present instead of spending extra cash on gifts. We promise it will be absolutely worth it. ⁣
⁣
If you are looking at enjoying a more minimalistic holiday, be sure to check out the latest from the blog for some great tips and tricks for finding balance and peace this year. Just click the link in our bio @mommyconvos ⁣
⁣
How are you prepping for the holidays that are a little different than in previous years? 🎁🎄
Recently, my social media feed is full of #givetha Recently, my social media feed is full of #givethanks gratitude posts Oh how I love the change of focus! My list of gratitude is oh so long, my faith and my family are the top of my list, but also is good literature. Goodness, life is so much better with good books!  I love discovering new holiday books, and this year I found several now books to add to our collection. 
•
•
“Thanksgiving is here”- playfully illustrates the joys and chaos of large families gathering for Thanksgiving dinner. And when company leaves- how exhausted the hosts feel. Something as a mom I totally sympathize with. 😂
•
•
Another delight Thanksgiving book addition to our library this year is, “T-is for Thankful”. @babylit has done it again! Creating the cutest illustrated book centered around all the alphabetical great and small things to be thankful for this year.
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Last year I shared our review on “Bad kitty does not like Thanksgiving” and this book is hilarious! Check out our Insta-stories for the awesome video review on this and other of our favorite Thanksgiving books.
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Do you have a favorite thanksgiving book? Please share below so we can continue to learn from each other! Happy holidays friends. 🦃 🥧 Morgan and Tiffaynee
Today I’ve felt anxious. I know i’m not the on Today I’ve felt anxious. I know i’m not the only one feeling this way with the impending presidential announcement... so how do we handle feeling off, anxious or depressed? One of the best things you can do -right this moment- give a hug. Cuddle close to a loved one and hold one another. Breathe deep. And hug for another breath. And hopefully you’ll slowly feel that anxiety release. And feel free to cuddle longer. 😘
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Sending a warm hug your way friend. 
❤️Tiff.
“When my daughter passed away unexpectedly at 10 “When my daughter passed away unexpectedly at 10 months old, my heart shattered. I was beyond broken… I was shattered beyond repair.⁣
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They say it takes a “village” to raise a child…⁣
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At that moment my “village” is what kept me alive…”⁣
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•⁣
@momma.hutch is 1 of every 4 women in the United States alone, who are affected by infertility or infant loss, or both. Mallory shares her brave story of dear Mackenzie’s passing and the journey she and her family are still going through. In this article Mallory  offers 10 invaluable and thoughtful ways to help a grief-stricken friend and we couldn’t agree more with her list. ⁣
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•⁣
To read her article- click @mommyconvos link in our bio. If you are a mother currently going through the grieving process- our deepest condolences and a virtual hug sent your way. We encourage you to check out Mallory‘s amazing supportive Instagram group: ... ⁣
•⁣
•⁣
When you are sad what is the one thing that cheers you up? I’ll give you a hint what mine is in the comments. 😍
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Christmas is less than a week away. And if you hav Christmas is less than a week away. And if you haven’t read any of these adorable books – I highly suggest all of them. “But it’s too late!” You might be thinking and slightly panicking.... nonsense! ⠀
•⠀
•⠀
In fact, this post is perfectly timed to prepare you for your final purchases this weekend or even, Christmas book clearance time. 🥳 When Christmas is over I’m certain many of these books will go on sale. (Insert happy deal shoppers dance here! 💃🏼 🛍) •⠀
•⠀
So, I suggest you look for these books today to add to your library for the next holiday season. 🎁🎅🏻 ⠀
•⠀
•⠀
Head to our stories to see Morgan talk about some of her favorites, click the link in our bio for the Christmas book article or to shop all of our fav books- click on the Amazon link. ⠀
•⠀
• What holiday book is your favorite to read with your kids?
Morgan here- I’m all about planning ahead, espec Morgan here- I’m all about planning ahead, especially for the biggest holiday of the year, but I forget one small detail... the stockings. 🙈😑 Please tell me i’m not the only one? 
•
•
Last night the hubby and I finished our Christmas shopping and I can finally put the wallet away. I’m certain we’re done- I hope. I should probably check my stash to be sure! 🙈
•
•
Sharing today our list of fun non-toy stocking stuffers you can snag before it’s too late! Head to our @mommyconvos bio for the details! 
•
•
So, here’s the next question: do you Christmas shop for the family by yourself? (❤️) Or do you team up with your spouse? (❤️💚) Leave the colored heart that best describes you- below!
Hi friends! We hope that you are having an amazing Hi friends! We hope that you are having an amazing week and are having a blast gearing up for the holidays ahead. With 2020 coming to an end, we can all relate to how tough this year has been. However, the initial tendency as a parent might be to overspend in an effort to compensate for whatever did or didn't happen in 2020. ⁣
⁣
LET ME GIVE YOU THIS REASSURANCE, MOMMAS- it is NOT necessary to buy more during the holidays in order to compensate for whatever you feel your children lacked this year. ❤ ⁣
⁣
Instead, we highly suggest minimizing your Christmas stress by implementing a minimalistic mindset each year, but this year in particular. This year has blessed us with the specific opportunity to tune in and be more mindful of those you love, just like our Savior does for us. So take this time to BE more present instead of spending extra cash on gifts. We promise it will be absolutely worth it. ⁣
⁣
If you are looking at enjoying a more minimalistic holiday, be sure to check out the latest from the blog for some great tips and tricks for finding balance and peace this year. Just click the link in our bio @mommyconvos ⁣
⁣
How are you prepping for the holidays that are a little different than in previous years? 🎁🎄
Recently, my social media feed is full of #givetha Recently, my social media feed is full of #givethanks gratitude posts Oh how I love the change of focus! My list of gratitude is oh so long, my faith and my family are the top of my list, but also is good literature. Goodness, life is so much better with good books!  I love discovering new holiday books, and this year I found several now books to add to our collection. 
•
•
“Thanksgiving is here”- playfully illustrates the joys and chaos of large families gathering for Thanksgiving dinner. And when company leaves- how exhausted the hosts feel. Something as a mom I totally sympathize with. 😂
•
•
Another delight Thanksgiving book addition to our library this year is, “T-is for Thankful”. @babylit has done it again! Creating the cutest illustrated book centered around all the alphabetical great and small things to be thankful for this year.
•
•
Last year I shared our review on “Bad kitty does not like Thanksgiving” and this book is hilarious! Check out our Insta-stories for the awesome video review on this and other of our favorite Thanksgiving books.
•
•
Do you have a favorite thanksgiving book? Please share below so we can continue to learn from each other! Happy holidays friends. 🦃 🥧 Morgan and Tiffaynee
Today I’ve felt anxious. I know i’m not the on Today I’ve felt anxious. I know i’m not the only one feeling this way with the impending presidential announcement... so how do we handle feeling off, anxious or depressed? One of the best things you can do -right this moment- give a hug. Cuddle close to a loved one and hold one another. Breathe deep. And hug for another breath. And hopefully you’ll slowly feel that anxiety release. And feel free to cuddle longer. 😘
•
•
Sending a warm hug your way friend. 
❤️Tiff.
“When my daughter passed away unexpectedly at 10 “When my daughter passed away unexpectedly at 10 months old, my heart shattered. I was beyond broken… I was shattered beyond repair.⁣
⁣
They say it takes a “village” to raise a child…⁣
⁣
At that moment my “village” is what kept me alive…”⁣
•⁣
•⁣
@momma.hutch is 1 of every 4 women in the United States alone, who are affected by infertility or infant loss, or both. Mallory shares her brave story of dear Mackenzie’s passing and the journey she and her family are still going through. In this article Mallory  offers 10 invaluable and thoughtful ways to help a grief-stricken friend and we couldn’t agree more with her list. ⁣
•⁣
•⁣
To read her article- click @mommyconvos link in our bio. If you are a mother currently going through the grieving process- our deepest condolences and a virtual hug sent your way. We encourage you to check out Mallory‘s amazing supportive Instagram group: ... ⁣
•⁣
•⁣
When you are sad what is the one thing that cheers you up? I’ll give you a hint what mine is in the comments. 😍
FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM
This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: API requests are being delayed for this account. New posts will not be retrieved.

There may be an issue with the Instagram access token that you are using. Your server might also be unable to connect to Instagram at this time.

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