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Mommy Convos

How to Emotionally Connect with Your Kids After School

in Guest Post on 05/03/20

Learning how to emotionally connect with your kids after school can be a difficult task. Our tendency to interrogate and know every detail of their day can be overwhelming at best. Below you’ll find a shortlist of our best tips to emotionally connect with our littles and boost our relationship for long-term results.

The First Day

It’s September of 2015 and my oldest daughter just finished her first day of school. I’d been bouncing between nervous energy and anticipation all morning. I couldn’t wait to pick her up from kindergarten and hear all about her first day! After we were reunited and lots of hugs, I started my interrogation. I wanted to know everything!

Did she make any new friends?

Was her teacher nice?

Who did she sit beside?

When is art class?

What book was read at storytime?

Was there a tour of the library?

My barrage of questions was met with a few grunts, but mostly silence. I peeked back at her in the rear-view mirror to find her face buried in a book. I instantly assumed something awful must have happened. We do that as Moms, right? If they’re being quiet, something must be wrong.

After that first week of school, my daughter was mentally and physically exhausted. I learned to wait and give her breathing room after school before asking questions. Although that initial silence was difficult for me, I knew she craved space to process her day. Once she had a snack, read a book quietly or played outside with her sister, she was much more willing to volunteer details about her day.

how to emotionally connect with your kids after school. Family Connection. Time for family. Family time. School aids. School helps. Mom helps. How to connect with your kids. Connecting with your kids. After school family time.

New Connecting Goal

Reconnecting with our kids once the bell rings can take some purposeful maneuvering. Knowing our own personalities and tendencies can help us connect better. For instance, I’m an extrovert and usually process my thoughts and feelings verbally. My daughter internalizes more and is a quiet processor and thinker. She needs more mental white space before sharing.

Part of loving my daughter well meant that I needed to curb my questioning. If I wanted to create room to connect with her after a long day, I had to be patient. That self-awareness of my own personality helped me notice her unique differences. All kids are different in their needs. Some even change season to season! Finding out what your child needs to unwind helps bridge the gap between school mode and family mode.

Maybe they need a break, so leaping right into homework would cause conflict. Do they need to be alone or around their siblings? Are there ways you can anticipate their mood and create a more peaceful environment? Some days we need to listen to Bach and eat brownies, other days my girls need to run laps around the backyard. Reading their cues and adjusting plans can make all the difference between a smooth or rough evening!

Heading back to school is exhausting for everyone. The new routines and schedule is a lot for grown-ups to manage, but our kids are busy adjusting too. Kids don’t always have the skills, awareness or language to tell us how they’re feeling. Let’s be generous with them and remember that connection is the goal.

Personal Application

Now as my oldest gears up for 3rd grade, I know she still needs space after school. I try to curb her little sister’s endless chatter and hold our questions until later. Sometimes, creating this space allows her to open up more than I could have ever hoped for. Some of our best conversations happen in those last ten minutes before bedtime.

When asking questions about school now, I have my daughter clarify something that happened. I’m more interested in checking in emotionally than learning every element of her day. I’ll ask:

  • How did it feel when that happened?
  • Did that surprise you?
  • What could you have done differently?
  • What was hard about that?
  • How did you show kindness to a friend?

We won’t know every single detail about their days, but that’s part of our kids growing up. They are figuring it out day by day, week by week. Being a soft place to land for them after a tough day, is a priceless gift. Let’s be ready to welcome our children back to the nest with open arms.

Here’s to a school year full of growth, wonder, and joy!

Erin

 

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Erin Ammons

About Erin Ammons

Erin Ammons is an ENFP (extrovert) married to a very patient ISTJ (introvert). She’s the mom of two, spirited little girls and the owner of Erin Ammons Photography. Most days she can be found photographing families around Virginia Beach and secretly vacuuming up Legos. She loves fresh journals, bookmarks and cherry Twizzlers.

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We believe mothers can change the world and that happens one conversation at a time. Snag our free "Summer Resources" E-book below 💕🏡

Morgan & Tiffaynee
Christmas is less than a week away. And if you hav Christmas is less than a week away. And if you haven’t read any of these adorable books – I highly suggest all of them. “But it’s too late!” You might be thinking and slightly panicking.... nonsense! ⠀
•⠀
•⠀
In fact, this post is perfectly timed to prepare you for your final purchases this weekend or even, Christmas book clearance time. 🥳 When Christmas is over I’m certain many of these books will go on sale. (Insert happy deal shoppers dance here! 💃🏼 🛍) •⠀
•⠀
So, I suggest you look for these books today to add to your library for the next holiday season. 🎁🎅🏻 ⠀
•⠀
•⠀
Head to our stories to see Morgan talk about some of her favorites, click the link in our bio for the Christmas book article or to shop all of our fav books- click on the Amazon link. ⠀
•⠀
• What holiday book is your favorite to read with your kids?
Morgan here- I’m all about planning ahead, espec Morgan here- I’m all about planning ahead, especially for the biggest holiday of the year, but I forget one small detail... the stockings. 🙈😑 Please tell me i’m not the only one? 
•
•
Last night the hubby and I finished our Christmas shopping and I can finally put the wallet away. I’m certain we’re done- I hope. I should probably check my stash to be sure! 🙈
•
•
Sharing today our list of fun non-toy stocking stuffers you can snag before it’s too late! Head to our @mommyconvos bio for the details! 
•
•
So, here’s the next question: do you Christmas shop for the family by yourself? (❤️) Or do you team up with your spouse? (❤️💚) Leave the colored heart that best describes you- below!
Hi friends! We hope that you are having an amazing Hi friends! We hope that you are having an amazing week and are having a blast gearing up for the holidays ahead. With 2020 coming to an end, we can all relate to how tough this year has been. However, the initial tendency as a parent might be to overspend in an effort to compensate for whatever did or didn't happen in 2020. ⁣
⁣
LET ME GIVE YOU THIS REASSURANCE, MOMMAS- it is NOT necessary to buy more during the holidays in order to compensate for whatever you feel your children lacked this year. ❤ ⁣
⁣
Instead, we highly suggest minimizing your Christmas stress by implementing a minimalistic mindset each year, but this year in particular. This year has blessed us with the specific opportunity to tune in and be more mindful of those you love, just like our Savior does for us. So take this time to BE more present instead of spending extra cash on gifts. We promise it will be absolutely worth it. ⁣
⁣
If you are looking at enjoying a more minimalistic holiday, be sure to check out the latest from the blog for some great tips and tricks for finding balance and peace this year. Just click the link in our bio @mommyconvos ⁣
⁣
How are you prepping for the holidays that are a little different than in previous years? 🎁🎄
Recently, my social media feed is full of #givetha Recently, my social media feed is full of #givethanks gratitude posts Oh how I love the change of focus! My list of gratitude is oh so long, my faith and my family are the top of my list, but also is good literature. Goodness, life is so much better with good books!  I love discovering new holiday books, and this year I found several now books to add to our collection. 
•
•
“Thanksgiving is here”- playfully illustrates the joys and chaos of large families gathering for Thanksgiving dinner. And when company leaves- how exhausted the hosts feel. Something as a mom I totally sympathize with. 😂
•
•
Another delight Thanksgiving book addition to our library this year is, “T-is for Thankful”. @babylit has done it again! Creating the cutest illustrated book centered around all the alphabetical great and small things to be thankful for this year.
•
•
Last year I shared our review on “Bad kitty does not like Thanksgiving” and this book is hilarious! Check out our Insta-stories for the awesome video review on this and other of our favorite Thanksgiving books.
•
•
Do you have a favorite thanksgiving book? Please share below so we can continue to learn from each other! Happy holidays friends. 🦃 🥧 Morgan and Tiffaynee
Today I’ve felt anxious. I know i’m not the on Today I’ve felt anxious. I know i’m not the only one feeling this way with the impending presidential announcement... so how do we handle feeling off, anxious or depressed? One of the best things you can do -right this moment- give a hug. Cuddle close to a loved one and hold one another. Breathe deep. And hug for another breath. And hopefully you’ll slowly feel that anxiety release. And feel free to cuddle longer. 😘
•
•
Sending a warm hug your way friend. 
❤️Tiff.
“When my daughter passed away unexpectedly at 10 “When my daughter passed away unexpectedly at 10 months old, my heart shattered. I was beyond broken… I was shattered beyond repair.⁣
⁣
They say it takes a “village” to raise a child…⁣
⁣
At that moment my “village” is what kept me alive…”⁣
•⁣
•⁣
@momma.hutch is 1 of every 4 women in the United States alone, who are affected by infertility or infant loss, or both. Mallory shares her brave story of dear Mackenzie’s passing and the journey she and her family are still going through. In this article Mallory  offers 10 invaluable and thoughtful ways to help a grief-stricken friend and we couldn’t agree more with her list. ⁣
•⁣
•⁣
To read her article- click @mommyconvos link in our bio. If you are a mother currently going through the grieving process- our deepest condolences and a virtual hug sent your way. We encourage you to check out Mallory‘s amazing supportive Instagram group: ... ⁣
•⁣
•⁣
When you are sad what is the one thing that cheers you up? I’ll give you a hint what mine is in the comments. 😍
Load More... FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM
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