Many moons ago I was in deep survival mode. I needed friendship outside of motherhood. A life-line outside of my home full of “real-life” community filled with opinions and advice for a struggling mother. I needed friendship, a tribe, a book club.
A friend introduced me to her book club. I knew one person the first night I met these ladies six years ago and decided to loved them. Through the years our book club meetings changed. There was a season when the members of my book club would all religiously read the book of the month and we would spend hours discussing the complexities of the book and then hours discussing home-life, mothering woes, share wonderful laughs and even some tears. There was a season where these ladies and I would meet every month and it was the much needed hours of reprieve from being called “mom” and instead called by name. Unfortunately, this season shifted as we all got too busy and we found ourselves meeting less often and our book club meetings become a girls night out for ice cream, a movie or running the “baker’s dozen“.
Why You Need a Tribe
Everyone needs a tribe, a support system, a community of women who love each other no matter what. It’s good to meet together and listen to different opinions with the heart and mind. When life doesn’t go according to plan- a tribe loves and supports you through the hard stuff. In 2014 my dear friend was diagnosed with breast cancer and us book club pals coordinated a fundraiser in her behalf, made meals and stayed with her for her chemo appointments. Months later, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I lived with my family four hours away for nine months- my book club ladies sent care packages and texted me constantly.
Had a baby? Meals were arranged.
Need a last minute babysitter? In comes the tribe.
A tribe is a group of people that love and support you no matter what. They know when life is good and worth celebrating your success or your children’s success. A tribe is a group of people who you know you can call when you have a baby or surgery and need help with meals or carpool. A tribe provides emotional, physical and mental support. Yes, a spouse can provide many of these needs, but sometimes a girl just needs to get away from everything and everyone needs validation from outside the home. Once you find that group of people- you hold onto them. You work through your difference of opinions and choose love over hurt feelings. You choose to support each other, check in on each other and even when it feels like it’s too much of a hassle you make time to see each other.
Find a Tribe or See Your Tribe
So the motivation for today is this- find a tribe or get your tribe together. If you haven’t found your tribe- start by looking around you. Look in your neighborhood. Talk to other women at the park with children or someone at Barnes and Noble browsing books. Look in your house of worship for women you naturally gravitate toward. Wherever you look, gather with positivity and compassion and arrange a get-together. Doesn’t have to be a book club, make it a park date, movie date or paint nite. Just get together!
If you have a tribe- don’t take them for granted. Reach out to those members and check on them. Chances are- they are just as busy and would appreciate someone else checking on them. Choose to strengthen the relationships by being the one to instigate a get together. Friends are hard to come by and a tribe? Well they are priceless when it comes to supporting you through the mental and physical drains of life. Be the friend you wish to have and find your tribe through whatever style of “book club” fits you best.