Welcome back to our Elevate Your Vibe Series! Moving on up the scale of vibrating emotions, we find that anger resides at 150 out of 1000. My kids love Disney Pixar’s movie “Inside Out” lately. In fact, before we ever even watched it my little boy Mavrick saw a picture of Anger with the fire coming out of his head and just couldn’t stop laughing. Anger has since been my son’s new favorite character, which is both adorable and slightly troubling. It has provided for some great conversation though. Just the other day Mavrick said “I’m ANGRY”, to which I replied, “Do you want to stay angry or be happy?” He had to give it a minute of thought, but ultimately decided he’d rather be happy. So I pose the question to you… “Would you rather be angry or happy?”
Now, don’t get me wrong- anger is a normal and a common emotion, but not an emotion to dwell a long time in. Dealing with anger needs to be handled in a healthy way.
Lets dive into the physiology of anger.
What happens to our bodies when we are feeling angry? Anger puts our body into a fight or flight response state which can lead to other health issues. In a recent article on WebMD it says, “healthy people who are often angry or hostile are 19% more likely than calmer people to get heart disease.” High blood pressure, strokes and insomnia have also been linked to being in a prolonged state of anger. In fact we read here that, “Even the highly conservative Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) admits that 85% of all diseases have a strong link to your emotional state. Other experts believe the real percentage is higher.”
So what does dealing with anger in a healthy way look like? Everyone is different and has different coping methods, but here are some ideas that have proven to be generally effective.
One proactive approach to avoiding anger is to live a lifestyle that doesn’t lend to high states of stress. We read here that, “People who are stressed are more likely to experience anger. Numerous worldwide studies have documented that regular exercise can improve mood and reduce stress levels. This may be because physical exertion burns up stress chemicals, and it also boosts production of mood-regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, including endorphins and catecholamines.” And that’s just the beginning of the benefits of exercise! We’ll later delve into exercise in another post, but the rewards are simply unending.
Three Tips to Elevate Your Vibe
So having a less stressful lifestyle with regular exercise in place can lead to less anger in life, but does it obliterate it completely? Probably not! So if you are experiencing anger, here are three tips to elevate your vibe out of anger and into a more ‘healthy’ emotion.
- One of my favorites is to startle yourself out of anger with humor. Imagine the person or situation to whom your anger is directed falling into mud, slipping on ice or dressed in a full-on chicken suit. It’s hard not to smile at that- right?.
- Secondly, surrender with acceptance to what is. The sooner we stop resisting what is, the sooner we can move forward in peace and joy….
- And lastly, stop blaming. When you blame others for your anger, you give them the power and ultimately become a victim to the situation. Let’s take back the power ladies! We need to take ownership.
Take Charge of What We Can
As mommies we have no control over a lot of things… like our children tromping through the house with muddy shoes the one minute we had to go pee, or the flour all over the pantry floor when we checked our email (can I get an amen!) But we do have power over the way we respond to these things. Stop blaming and start owning it! Try saying to yourself ‘this is what happened, I cannot change that, but I get to choose how I respond’ then run into the pantry take five deep breathes, eat five chocolate chips and go back out there and rock this hard job of being a mother with a big smile and loving forgiveness oozing out of you! Ok maybe take another handful of chocolate chips first… haha.
Anger is often called a ‘secondary emotion’. Meaning that we feel anger secondary to something else. Typically the first emotion is sadness. I recently had someone very close to me experience a miscarriage at 14 weeks along. Of course this came with a lot of sadness. I’m sure many of you reading have had similar experiences or know someone who has. The territory of becoming a mommy is not one of general ease and luxury. This could be an easy time to be angry. As I spent some time with her I was so impressed at her ability to not resist what had happened and to accept it with peace. She was able to avoid the detriments of anger and move forward in her life.
Lets recap those 3 tips:
- Stop blaming
You can do this! Doesn’t mean it’s super easy, but trust me, YOU. ARE. STRONG. Think of a time when you chose humor over anger, or acceptance over resistance. Share your success stories in the comments!