Every woman needs a regular date with their spouse! Why? Well, we mothers are more than just the household maid, caregiver, chauffeur driver or chef! We were first a girl with goals and ambitions, the girlfriend worth courting and getting to know, and the fiancé worth impressing and showing affection toward. Becoming a wife and mother does not mean those goals are forgotten- oh no! Becoming a mother can sometimes mean putting our personal goals to the side to make room for a sometimes demanding relationship with a baby for a season of life.
Why Mothers Need to Make Time for ‘Out of the House’ Dates
As a stay at home mother, it is the most rewarding job and the most exhausting job I’ve ever had. Big slobbery kisses, little hands that give me hugs all day. Watching the light bulb of understanding spark across my child’s face after they learn something new is the best! However, dealing with toddler tantrums, choosing the “correct color” cup, and wiping bums all day means once kids are in bed I crash on the couch and turn on Netflix. Tell me I’m not the only one! How is there time or energy to go on a date? And not just any date, but the kind where you actually get ready for the night, get a babysitter and get out of the house with your spouse.
Remember What it Was Like to Be Boyfriend and Girlfriend:
Before you became mom and dad, you were a couple that dated. Do you remember how much time you spent getting ready for the night? How the butterflies filled your stomach minutes before he showed up for your date? Do you remember the way he’d proudly look at you throughout your date? As you reflect on these feelings… when was the last time you felt this way? I hope the answer is: last week when we went on a date! But, if you are like most couples, the last time you dated was probably awhile ago. Ignite that relationship spark by escaping the stress of parenthood for an hour or arrange an actual night getaway… just go on a date!
Six Reasons Married Couples Should Date Regularly:
- A date gives you something to look forward to at the end of a long and stressful week.
- Be an adult, interact with other adults and feel like an independent adult again. If you are going out to eat for dinner this means you will enjoy your hot meal.. and hot! What a concept!
- Reconnect. Spend time together with your spouse and get to know each other again. Through marriage, we as individuals are expected to grow and change. I find that I understand and love my husband more when I ask him open-ended questions about his childhood or his college days. We can talk without getting interrupted a million times by little people.
- Make goals and plan for the future. I am a planner who chooses to set yearly and even monthly goals. My husband is not as meticulous with his goals which at times is super frustrating. Having goal conversations on our date and those dreaming sessions about our future brings my planning heart comfort. We also utilize this amazing couple’s council printable to “check in” with one another. For a limited time, we have this printable available in a whole summer resource book here.
- A date can be a way to outwardly show your appreciation for your spouse.
- Group dates! Make some friendships outside your marriage. Letting your hair down for a night of fun with friends turns off the every-day stress and brings out the silly and fun with lots of couples. Group dates can lead to life-long friendships and can create a support system every couple needs.
Best Part of Dating Your Spouse:
The best part about dating your spouse is: you don’t have to spend money to impress. Going out and doing something with your spouse is easy, but getting a babysitter and paying for their service can prevent couples from leaving their house while the kids are awake. The solution: join or create a neighborhood babysitting co-op. If this is a new concept head to- dailymom.com. They have a fantastic article on how to start the program in your neighborhood. The babysitting co-op concept is basically trading babysitting hours with your neighbors so that you and your spouse can leave the kids behind with a sitter for free, a win-win system.
Try Something New:
Deciding on a date time can be difficult with busy schedules. When it comes to holiday parties with other adults, I highly suggest making those events a top priority.
My friend April Davis of fifteen years (holy Hana!) always throws the most epic Halloween Murder Mystery parties and wrote an article on Today’s Mama listing how she pulls off these parties. If you need some ideas on date night getaway with friends- head to her article here. Several couples attend the late evening party under the night sky with twinkling lights and a burning fire to the side. Dinner is delicious as always, desserts provided by the couples and the best part? Strangers come together for the night acting like their assigned characters so there is no strange silence over dinner and everyone needs to talk to everyone because you are trying to solve the murder!
Make Time for One Another
Dating your spouse regularly is important! Remember who you and your spouse were before little people came and the stress of adulthood gave you grey hairs. Host a party and have your friends over for a themed party. If you need some ideas on ways to have a date at home- we have a perfect list here. Spending time together as the two people you were before becoming mom and dad will only ground your relationship and sparks that familiar flame in marriage more.