Self- care? Who has time for that? As mothers, it is easy to put our needs last, especially when we are wearing more than one hat on our heads. Today we are sharing why self-care is important, what self-care can look like, and five ways to make daily self-care successful- even for the busy mom.
Why is Self-Care Important?
Have you ever heard of the motherhood and the flower vase analogy? Imagine a long-stemmed rose in a tall vase. When the vase is empty of water, the rose wilts. Likewise, when the vase is filled with water, the rose flourishes. Now, when the flower vase fills, eventually the water eventually spills over the ledge watering everything below. In this analogy, the mother is the tall rose in the vase. When her vase or her needs are not taken care of, she becomes exhausted, depressed, and/or wilts with her responsibilities. However, when the mother addresses her needs and takes care of herself, her cup becomes full and she is capable of taking care of others and even, glad to do so too!
What does Self-Care Look Like?
Personally, my idea of self-care changes on the day! Sometimes, it’s going window shopping by myself or finishing a book I just started. Self-care can mean getting a task done without interruption. And if you have a few kids in your home- you know exactly how difficult that can be! Here are other self-care ideas:
- Drawing or art project
- Shower by yourself
- Eat hot food!
- Girls night
- Date night
- Play/park date
- Going to the gym/walk
- Alone time to do whatever you’d like!
- Shop alone
- Read a book
- Window shopping through your favorite store
- Craft project
- Binge watch a TV series
- Watch a movie of choice
These are some ideas, but remember there is no right or wrong way to take care of yourself. Just tune into yourself, listen, and follow through with what you need! Check out our favorite guides to get through a tough mom day here. And if you have a hard time letting the “mom-guilt” behind, know there is no reason to feel guilty about taking care of your needs. Mom guilt is just a waste of time!
5 Ways to Make Daily Self-Care Successful:
Self-care is important and it looks different for everyone. But, how can a busy mom squeeze in one more thing? Personally, I have wondered the same thing! I am homeschooling my children and all four are home full-time- all the time. We are in a small home with no backyard and… I have no more alone time, even when I try hiding in the car. They always find me! When COVID-19/quarantine happened for everyone in March of 2020, I felt depleted of energy by June. I wasn’t taking care of myself anymore. I was trying to care for others when my vase was empty of water.
Then, once my husband and I decided we were going to homeschool in the Fall, I cried- how can I squeeze in one more thing? With lots of trial and error, tears and frustration, and lots of talking to friends and family something clicked- there is always time for the important things. And you, dear mama- are important! Here are five ways you can put yourself first, without the guilt!
Be intentional with Your Time:
- Establish a self-care routine you can be happy with.
- Wake up early. Tiffaynee wakes up two hours before her kids do to make sure she works out, gets ready, and does her scripture study before her day begins.
- Schedule ahead for the day, week, or month. I like to plan ahead. And avoiding the what’s for dinner? headache every night is my goal. Use this link to utilize our meal plan on a budget guide.
Communicate Your Needs:
- To yourself and/or your spouse and get on the same page.
- Speak up! Talk to your family, friends, or neighbors and ask for help.
Create a Top “Needs” List:
- Mindlessly scrolling through social media and before you know it, an hour has passed and you’ve wasted time you meant to use doing something else. Instead, create a list of three-five daily goals to cross off throughout the day. You’ll accomplish your goals and not waste time either.
Be Mindful and Understand Your Needs:
- Pay attention to external factors such as: Are you sleeping enough? Drinking enough water? Eating food that fuels your body? Self-assess and alter accordingly.
- Internal factors: stress or anxiety, depression… perhaps it’s time to pull out a journal and write out those feelings to identify what is bothering you.
- It’s easy to compare your messy house to someone’s lovely home on a 1:1 social media tile. Don’t compare your normal to someone else’s manufactured version of normal.
- Be patient with yourself, especially when adjusting to a new routine or a new normal.
- Summon all of your patience while dealing with children- they are going through things that might not be able to explain. We love this article to help understand how to help children work through their feelings in crisis.
Dear mama, you are worth taking care of first! if you need the validation, here is our proclamation:
You deserve to eat a hot meal.
You are allowed to take a nap in the middle of the day- if that’s what you need.
Choose to listen to yourself, value your time, address your needs, communicate to your family, make a plan, and know you are worth showing yourself some self-care daily.